Monday, August 10, 2009

Feeling bad!!!

Its been a OK day today!!! Been a bit cloudy and slightly wet. I was listening to some song as I walked down home. In the midst of my uneventful dull and dragging days, I feel more alive during this walk. Its a 20 minutes walk for me via a park, small hill, bridge, a housing block and an industrial estate. I can feel the aura around each and every part, I walk through. I brush my hands through most of the trees in reach as I walk up and down. There are a few houses with lovely gardens which are having blooming flowers and few houses with different breeds of dogs and few houses where they display a lot of stuff over the window and a few houses with children. The same with the smell, Each house emanates a different smell, which is so vivid. So I breath in each moment of my time during this walk, which get me ready for a long dull tiring day and unwinds me after I come from the work.

So, here I'm today as usual walking my way from work... I come across 3 bus stops on the way home. As I was almost reaching the last bus stop, I watched these two pigeons which were flying down to the bush near the bus stop. For some weird reason, I watched one of this birdie just fly right into the glass wall side of the bus stop, which I think is a serious judgement error. It went and hit the wall, ''PPPHHHAAATTTCCHHH''. I know it sounds silly. For some weird reason, I ran towards the bird and sat next it. I watched it shudder and slowly die right in front of my eyes. My adrenaline was still rushing and I couldn't stop shivering. I didn't know what to do, once the bird died and I just sat there for, what I think is almost 10 minutes.

Finally, I just left the pigeon there and walked past through my usual way. I felt so heavy at heart. You know when there is an incident especially bad one, you go through all the phases. It's not like I don't see death... In fact I see death every where around me. I watch people wither away right in front of my eyes. I see at least 2 to 3 patients dying everyday. I have started patients on IPOC ( Integrated pathway of care for the dying ) which technically means you stop all the treatment and investigations and just let the patient pass away as painless as possible. But as I was walking down the road today, I couldn't help wondering... ''Is my life any more worthy than this pigeon that has died''.

1 comment:

Imagination said...

Your life is so much more worthy just for the fact that you feel so dearly for other lives.