Wednesday, July 4, 2007

The letter that never made it to the Post Box

May be this should be the letter, that should be running in the minds of any couple who split after years of trying to figure out their marital life... May be I can run away? But I have nobody to run off with...nor can I run off. Apparently, My life isn't even my own to do away with. I do feel in my heart, I must take leave of you now. Because unless I disentangle myself from you emotionally... I will never be a better person nor a fit parent for my child.
I don't think you could measure all the tears I have shed. When I've needed you most, You always have found it more pressing to be anywhere else, but with me. But I know it wasn't always so. I know the world was once vibrant with promise. How thrilling my life was until I met you and even adventurous for some time? But somewhere along the line, something was lost. Just Lost in Translation, I guess. I must have loved you an awful lot, to have been so hurt. In fact, sometimes I almost wish you would have yourself a love affair. So you would know how the heart can be affected.
Oh... I guess you loved me in your own way... As a part of the whole picture. A COMFORTABLE LIFE TAKEN FOR GRANTED. But believe me, IT IS NOT ENOUGH. May be it is all I meant to get, But don't let anybody over treat our child this way.
From here on, I will stop hoping you will change. I won't expect evenings To be different different from each other. Nor weekends different from work days. I won't expect anything anymore. But just know that you have destroyed a heart and a marriage. I have stopped expecting. But I still miss your tenderness, your thoughtfullness and even your politeness. I don't know if you have it in you, But I yearn for it.
May be someday, when you have noting else on your mind.