Wednesday, July 4, 2007

The letter that never made it to the Post Box


May be this should be the letter, that should be running in the minds of any couple who split after years of trying to figure out their marital life... May be I can run away? But I have nobody to run off with...nor can I run off. Apparently, My life isn't even my own to do away with. I do feel in my heart, I must take leave of you now. Because unless I disentangle myself from you emotionally... I will never be a better person nor a fit parent for my child.
I don't think you could measure all the tears I have shed. When I've needed you most, You always have found it more pressing to be anywhere else, but with me. But I know it wasn't always so. I know the world was once vibrant with promise. How thrilling my life was until I met you and even adventurous for some time? But somewhere along the line, something was lost. Just Lost in Translation, I guess. I must have loved you an awful lot, to have been so hurt. In fact, sometimes I almost wish you would have yourself a love affair. So you would know how the heart can be affected.
Oh... I guess you loved me in your own way... As a part of the whole picture. A COMFORTABLE LIFE TAKEN FOR GRANTED. But believe me, IT IS NOT ENOUGH. May be it is all I meant to get, But don't let anybody over treat our child this way.
From here on, I will stop hoping you will change. I won't expect evenings To be different different from each other. Nor weekends different from work days. I won't expect anything anymore. But just know that you have destroyed a heart and a marriage. I have stopped expecting. But I still miss your tenderness, your thoughtfullness and even your politeness. I don't know if you have it in you, But I yearn for it.
May be someday, when you have noting else on your mind.

5 comments:

Encrypted Heart said...

Expectations are the root cause for all troubles..........
But in married life expectation plays major role between husband and wife ...... so then troubles plays major role between them ........

அடியேனுக்கு தோன்றிய சிறிய குறுகிய சிந்தனை இது, பொருட்பிழை இருந்தால் மன்னிக்கவும்

Anonymous said...

Why do we wait so long? but then I guess there are not many of us that even get down to writing 'the letter'

Vetti pullai said...

Encrypted hearts,
in every single relationship there is expectaion. parents expects something from the children and vice versa and it goes to all. only when it gets suffocating and when we cant run away from it, the need for a letter arises.

To Anonymous,
Very true. Most of the times our lives are only led in false pretense. Coz the real life is very bitter

Anonymous said...

Sometimes bitter chocolate does taste good too.

Vetti pullai said...

Well, till now, I could never get to like bitterness as a taste. May be that is why I have to confront it so many times, in real life and feel bad about it. But slowly i think i will grow to like it, I guess.