I have heard a lot about this particular terminology, of late.... Invasion of Personal space and Domestic violence and stuff like that.... Lots of problems are starting to exist because of this, as the world is getting modernised. WHY is that? The divorce rates are increasing at an alarming rate in the India.
There are a heap of theories for that, I guess.... Once upon a time, take for instance my grandma's period, she got married at the age of 13, even before she could attain her puberty. But she was married to my grandpa for almost 50 years. She still talks so high of him, But I have never seen her talking to my grandpa in front of us. Then comes my mom, I have not seen my mom and dad fight in front of us, Not even once. Then comes me and my generation, There is not one day that goes without a fight in front of our young ones....
Now, Three different time periods, Three different life styles and Three different personal spaces. My grandma thought that talking to her husband at her house in front of her children was some kind of sin. She just gave birth to 4 kids, Don't ask me how that happened??? But What was her role in my grandpa's life? Cooking, cleaning, taking care of his parents and his children and Other house hold chores. But My grandma can sing very well and she used to teach us dancing and is an excellent cook and a wonderful Gardener. I have never seen her get any appreciation for those and she has never complained ever, till now.
Now coming to my mom, She is a doctor and has been a very dutiful wife to my dad. My dad was a doctor too. But in our clinic, she was very submissive. My Dad was known to all and most of them thought my mom was a staff nurse. Because she used to handle money and take care of prescriptions stuff like that and always let My Dad to be the main person in the clinic...She never complained about her career. She never crossed my Dad and She has been a very dutiful person taking care of him and us. But My Dad passed away when he was 42. That was the biggest blow that came on to our family. But My Mom had us to raise, as we were in the first year of college and She was so strong and brought us up. Till now, she is running the clinic... But never once thought about what she wanted...
Now coming to me, I am a doctor too... My marriage is still hard to describe in words. I had so much of expectations and nothing seemed to work. End of the day, it is just hatred and humiliation that is spread throughout. Everyone trying to out beat the other and trying to find fault with other and trying to just rip the other person out and intrude into other person privacy. But I know what I want very clearly and I have absolutely no intention of compromising at any point for anything or anyone? Is it because the world has become more competitive? Is it because wedding doesn't mean they own the other person anymore, mostly men owning the women's life?
Why is it so difficult to adjust nowadays? Has the work load for women increased? Of course!!! Yes... They have both a career and a family to run. When I go to my home town in the local train, I used to see groups of men standing and having a cup of tea and discussing politics and other stuff... But when you look at working women, Poor things, They will be running to get into the earliest train possible, so that they can go and cook and settle and sleep. Most of them buy veggies in the train and try to get it ready for the next day...
The cost of living has increased, so both husband and wife has to work. But, The wife, who was once kept locked in the kitchen, as soon as she steps out to see the world, She begins to compare her with everything. When the husband is not good enough, She knows it and Education gives her the confidence. Men can sense it, but too egoistic to accept that they don't meet the standards, most of the time. So, a sense of helplessness creeps into their brain, which later gets perverted to nonsense. The men mostly have turned very selfish and scared at the same time. They are not able to live the lives of their father and grandfather, because there is a drastic change in the women's attitude. This turns into violence against women in all sense... Previously they used to say, even if your husband kills you, he is your husband so we should not even lift a finger against him. Nowadays... Women doesn't want their marriage to become a strangling constraint, just for the sake of saving a wedding and are willing to come out and stand on their own legs...
Well... what can I say? Things have changed a lot with women. The only way to handle this is not by adjusting but to understand and accept with full heart. And Give her the support, which she deserves. Behind every successful man, there is a women and Behind every successful woman, there is definitely no man. That is the key to success so far... LOL... If it changes then Marriages might last a bit more longer...
