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விலை படியுமோ படியதோ என்ற கேள்வி குறி
பெண்கள் ஒதுங்கி நின்று கண்ணால் அவளை சுட்டெரிக்க...
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என்னவென்று
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பசியோடு பிள்ளைகளோ...
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இவள் பெண்மை
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ஆனால்
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ஒரு சோகம்
இன்னொரு இருட்டை தேடி...

Moments of Madness!!!

I had a weird experience last night, when I was in the casualty. At around 2, there was a lot of commotion in the reception at my hospital. There is a Police station in front of my hospital. The Hall was full of Police officials and lots and lots of noise. In the midst of this uniform crowd, there was a guy with an unconscious girl in his hand.

My initial thought was that the Police have confiscated this couple who were trying to commit suicide and later thought that may be its a couple quarrel. Anyways, I got down to business and started examining the girl. After I was sure that she was Ok, I started talking to her, I understood that she is married for the past 14 years to a drunkard and has 3 kids and then fell in love with this guy who was working with her and just eloped with him. She was in so much of turmoil. She said that all her life she was not loved at all and she adores her kids but when she found a person who cared for her and loved here the way she wanted, She just couldn’t think of anything sane.

Now, this is a tricky issue. I am no one to judge her action, because it is her life and she has all the right to do whatever she wants to do with her. But Trust me, In every relationship, whether it is a husband or a wife, there are moments when we feel like running away somewhere with or without someone. Most of the relationships are so pathetic. We call a marriage a huge success by the numeric value attached to it. If they are married for so many years together, it is success. I am pretty sure, in most of the long term marriages; there are less than 10 sentences between the couples in a day.

But being bound to each other by mere chains like society, creed, clan, family name, status instead of love or faith or trust is not the meaning of a successful relationship. With each passing moments, the suffocation and the wrath just keeps on mounting and all the time, we are swearing in our heart of hearts at the person whom we once liked or loved. The relationship is so dead and no matter where you turn, its like you stand in a maze and keep trying to find a way out in the dark.

Honestly, Is so much hurt, pain and tears necessary? I don’t know but it’s surely not worth our one and only life.

Am I safe ? No easy Answer...

I read a very impressive article and here are the tidbits… I guess it might sound as if it’s overrated… But the problem still prevails. It’s about Violence against women. This means violence which can range from Unwanted Stares and comments to Touching, Pushing, Groping to Rape and Murder.

The reality is that crimes against women occur and have been occurring. It has not stopped just because there is more money, more education, more urbanization, more globalization or more liberalization. The difference is that more of them are being noticed and reported.

Safety for women is an unfulfilled wish most of the time, depending on how you define it. If by “Safe” you mean that a women should be able to walk on street, travel or a train or bus, go shopping, go to cinema, go to restaurant, go to pub, go to college or school, go to an office, drive a car or scooter, work in a factory, work in a field, play any sport – in other words do what any human being would wish to do – without being pushed, hit, abused, attacked. Then all Indian women are unsafe. Millions of women are not safe even within their homes.

When such assaults occur, it is easy to shrug our shoulder to say our men will never do that kind of stuff. It’s the guys from that place or who speak this language etc, etc. How does the origin of a man, his religion, the color of skin, level of education, where he works and whether he words, his caste or his nationality matter when it comes to the question of sexual assaults? Are such crimes committed only by the poor, the lower caste, the unemployed or the uneducated? Unfortunately the answer is no. It happens in all level. The degree might vary but the basic attitude is the same.

The real solution for this sick ongoing problem is that we must grapple with when such incidents occur has a name, it is “Patriarchy”. It includes that inability of men to accept that women have rights, that they are human beings, that they should be left alone, that they have the right to occupy space in a public arena.

Time and again, Deep seated Patriarchal attitudes are laid bare when an assault on women is reported. The time worn arguments about the way women should dress in public are doled out. Women will be safe if they stay away from certain places, we are told. Women must not go out in the middle of crowds of men, we are advised. Men will be men, so women must be careful, we are warned.

The basic attitude that still prevails irrespective of caste, class or creed, can be summed as follows. Men know, Women don’t; Men must teach, Women must learn; Men can behave as they like, Women must conform. Need to say more? The exceptions do not make the rule, as we have seen time and again.

How do we change these patriarchal values? There are no easy answers. Women all over the world have been struggling to do just this.