I am so so so sooooper boredddd!!!

So Here I am trying innocently to pass on an yet another boring day... You see, for people of Seychelles, it is a long weekend and we have a public holiday on Monday as well. So I really have tried to do stuff to kill... really kill time and I accept I lost on a major slide, coz i ran out of ideas.

Hence I turn to the Internet as always to help me with my mega boredom. A very wise person has really knighted me as Ms. Bored... But I think I would rather have it as my middle name. It kinda suits me better. Anyways, I didn't know what to surf for after a while hence I just typed bored on Google and " VOILA!!!". I have list after list to do to just kill time... I should say all this time I was thinking I was the Master of Boredom... But there are some very wise literates who are probably doing PhD after PhD on trying to kill time.

I really tried some and it worked... So Here is my list of favourite things to kill boredom... Trust me, it works perfectly...

1. Try to Blink wildly and then shut your eyes tight to see a fantastic array of shapes, colours and funny bobs of light... (I am not responsible if you go dizzy...)

2. Try not to think of Penguins for 3 minutes... (Now be honest to yourself and have a timer...)

3. Try to pick up a passerby and put all your mind into thinking of making him or her drop the bag or even to knock into someone. (If by any chance it does happen, you can brag yourself about your new found extrasensory perception... Bravo to you!)

4. Go ahead and scratch yourself everywhere... Even if it doesn't itch... (I should say after a few seconds it does feel pleasurable! But it does burn if you overdo... so watch out)

5. Pick a random word and keep saying it loud again and again, till it loses its meaning and all you are left with is a meaningless noise! (I didn't think I will fall for it.... I kept saying lunar again and again... till i went blank and i should say after a while I really didn't know the meaning of the word. It left my brain more scrambled than usual...)

6. Pinch yourself... GO ahead! ( I did, till it hurt. I honestly will stick to being bored, I guess)

7. Try to invent a funny twitch and enact it when you are in public... ( I really got embarrassed with this one)

8. Try to make as many paper boats as possible and go to the near by stream or even a gutter and name each boat and make a competition out of them. See which one wins!!! ( My personal favourite!!! But being a Doctor where almost everyone knows me... This has been difficult to maintain without funny glares! Awww! damn.... who gives a flying duck? I enjoy this. So go on and try)

9. Go to a candy shop and buy loads and loads of them and eat them for breakfast, midday snack, lunch, dinner and supper.... ( I am not responsible for the calories or the backside which might swell up like Brazil, if you keep doing it regularly...)

10. You can pick up booger from your nose everyday and make a journal out of it... ( I can get into the gross details... You can make a diary explaining the colour and quantity and texture of your booger and may be have a competition with one of your friend, if there is someone who will share your interest... LOL! )

11. Sit in postures till a particular part of your body goes numb and feel the pins and needles and then try it on another part!

12. Rent out a movie and then finish watching it and go back again in 2 hours and rent another one and watch and return to get another movie!!! ( This is loads of fun!)

13. Take out all the dress from the closet and try them on and make your own fashion parade!

14. Learn to peal a Banana with your foot ( Though I wouldn't advise you to eat, as a Doctor)

15. Put a trash can in the middle of the room and Try to throw paper balls from different corners of the room and make it a game. ( this does help to kill time)

16. Try kissing your elbow.... (If you can!!!)

17. Have a staring competition with yourself in the mirror( This was pretty dumb!)

18. Put the music that you love and dance around naked in your living room... ( make sure all the windows are closed or you might be the reason for giving someone else heart attack!!!)

19. Go round spinning till you go dizzy!!! ( keep the furniture away!)

20. Lie down and watch the clouds and Keep a notepad and draw out all the figures you can make out!!!

Go on and try all this if you are bored... These are life savers! If you are not into anyone of this, write a blog like me.... Whether there are people who really read it or not... It does takes the weight of your chest...

Will soon make a list of things I want to do Before I die and Will post it.... So till then, Bask in your boredom and embrace it...

கோபம்!!!

என் நாட்களின் முடிவுகளில்
மனசின் இருட்டு பிரதேசத்தில்
எஞ்சி தொக்கி நிற்பது
கோபமும் விரத்தியும் சோர்வும்
என் உணர்வுகளுக்கு காரணம் உண்டா?
தெரியவில்லை!!!
என் முயற்சிகளின் முடிவில்
புதை சேற்றில் சிக்கியது போல
மூச்சி விட முடியாது
நெஞ்சை அழுத்தும்
என் கோபம்...
எதை நினைத்து என் வெறி?
என் வாழ்கை பாதையின் நீளம் கண்டா?
எடுக்க வேண்டிய முடிவுகளை கண்டா?
என் தனிமையை கண்டா?
குழப்ப கூடுகளின் தாக்கம் கண்டா?
என் கடமைகளை கண்டா?
என் சரிகளும் தப்புகளும் தர்க்கம் கண்டா?
எது எப்படியோ...
என் கோபம் மட்டும்
கொழுந்து விட்டு
கனன்று கொண்டே....
இரைச்சலோடு கத்த தோன்றும்!!
கை வலிக்கும் வரை அடிக்க தோன்றும்!!!
நெஞ்சு அணையும் வரை அழ தோன்றும்!!!
எல்லாம் அடங்கி வெறுமை பரவும்!!!
என் கோபங்களுக்கு அர்த்தம் உண்டோ?
இருக்கலாம்...
என் கோபங்களை சொல்லி அழ தோள் வேண்டுமோ?
வேண்டாம்...
என் கோபங்கள் மறைந்து போகுமோ?
போனாலும் போகலாம்...
என்னதான் என் பிரட்சனை?
குழப்ப சிடுக்கின் உள்ளில் அமர்ந்து
கோபக்னியில் உழன்று உழன்று
எதை தேடி தான் என் ஆவேசம்...
என்னை புரிந்து
என் கோபம் தணிக்க
ஒன்றுமே இல்லாத
வேற்று பிரதேசம்!!!
மெல்ல தெளியும் நிமிடம்
ஒன்று புரிகிறது....
இன்றைய என் பொழுதில்
என் கோபம் மட்டுமே
உயிர் ஒன்று உண்டு
என்னுள் என்று
உணர்த்திக்கொண்டு...

What Am I Supposed To Do???

I would love you all to have a glimpse of my life... I am a bundle of everything. Whatever you can quote with a bundle of, would be me. A bundle of joy, A bundle of nerves, A bundle of crap, A bundle of hope, A bundle of tears... The thing is I really don't have a clue about anything in my life.

I get astonished by people who have a clear insight about their life and their aims in life. It is a talent, you know. I have always felt like swept in a mad current of events, all my life. It might sound stupid... But I have to tell you, It's depressing to me. I know anyone else in my shoes, would have handled my life better. They would have planned things, had a vision about future, had a far sight of things and anticipate and work out. I would love to be such a person. But unfortunately, I am nowhere near it... I am all the opposites.

Now, You might think what is wrong in that? What is so bad about it? Trust me... I am talking about exhaustion, frustration, inbuilt anger which is turning into a rage... I am always in the start of the race. Have you seen this movie " Ground hog day"? That is how I feel my life is... I always come back to square one after been beaten by all possible snakes and stumbling down all possible ladders.

I was never a responsible person. I am scared about my responsibilities. I am scared now so much because I have to sort out my son's life. I am in the middle of nowhere, you know. I am still in the search of what I am looking for.

In spite of all of my life being in bits and pieces, I some how keep walking. I am now torn between responsibility and fear. I want to donate my kidney to my maternal uncle, whom I love so much. But I have a bad family history of Diabetes and Hypertension and I am in the middle of sorting out my career. If I go ahead with the surgery, There is a high chance of falling out on my career and may be never achieve what I wanted to do and settle down for a mediocre life. And on top of it, If I develop any complication, I am going to leave behind my son with nothing to hope for. But I want to help my uncle as well, so badly.

What am I supposed to do now? I hate to make decisions and I hate the way my life goes on. It is sick and I am tired of fighting life. Sometimes I just want to curl up and give up... But it's my son's face which keeps me going on...

So if there are any wise brains out there, who can really spare a second to go through this blog, Your opinion is highly appreciated. Please think for me... COZ my neurons have died a long time back with the stress I had, have and having...

A Big Leap!!!

When darkness calls,
When night gets cold,
No one to call...
No hands to hold...
You doubt a while
And smile so right!!
For You do know,
I am not so far...
I will reach for you!!!
And touch your heart!!!
Whether near
Whether far
A love so rare...
That's what we share!
A day will come,
Might not take long...
Where you be mine
And
Doubts will drown...
Where lonely nights will turn to dreams!
You'll wake up wrapped in those strong hands
That keeps you warm
Till day light comes...
That will be from...
From me to you!
For you are the one who
Rescued me
From my depths of desperation!!!

மூழ்கி போய்!!!

பிண்ணி பிணைந்து
குழப்ப சிக்கலாகி போனேன்...
உன்னால்
வண்ண குழும்பின் உள்!!!
சப்த இரைச்சல்கள் மேல்!!!
இப்போதோ
எண்ணங்களின் கூட்டில்
ஓசை இல்லாத பரந்த நிசப்தம்...
மிதந்து கொண்டே இருக்கிறேன்
வெளிச்சத்தின் வெப்பத்தில்...
உண்மைகளின் வேகம் தாக்கும் இங்கே
ஆன்மாக்களின் கூக்குரல் கேக்கும்
இன்பத்தின் உச்சமும் நிற்கும் எதிரே!
உயிரை சுற்றி
வட்ட வட்ட நீர் திவலைகள் போல
பந்தங்கள்!
அடுத்தடுத்து உருவாகி
வளர வளர
தூர தூரமாய் பிரிவோம்...
கடந்த காலங்களின் கைப்பு
நிமிட நேர கண்ணீர் துளி
கோபத்தில் கொட்டிய வார்த்தை சவுக்குகள்
எதிர் காலத்தை நோக்கிய பார்வை
எல்லாம் மாற்றும்
இதயத்தின் வடிவை!!!
சதுரமா ?
வட்டமா ?
இல்லை
வெறும் சதை தானா ?
மூச்சி நிற்கும் வரை
போராட்டம் தான்
வெறுமையின் விளிம்பில்
இருப்பினும்
என் நாளை
மாறலாம்!!!
எனக்கு கிடைக்காத நாளை
என் உயிருக்கு
நான் தர எண்ணி
குழப்ப கூட்டில்
மூழ்கி மூழ்கி
என் தினங்களில்
மிதக்கிறேன்...