Good Bad and the Ugly!!!

Well, It's been just my silly poems, of late filling the blog pages. I thought i would rather write something else for a change. Life sometimes puts me in a funny place, where i can see changes right in front of my eyes.

So far, i have only one best friend, in whom I confide everything. Funny, we don't talk regularly or update ourselves frequently. But whenever we talk, I could just feel the same warmth and care and affection in her for me. She is such a wonderful person. She always says that i run into relationships and get out heart broken. She used to be picky all the times, with friends. But I used to make both friends and enemies fast. LOL...

She will say the relationship which takes the longest time to mature, is the one which will stay the longer. Well, theoretically, I know this by heart. But in my real life, I am such a loser. I always see relationships which start out so colourfully, turns into bland things within months almost like a bubblegum losing its flavour.

The hard part is each time I go near so fast and come out so fast. Sometimes certain links get broken, certain links remains out of focus, certain links gets turned into ugly monsters and certain links just vanish with time. But no matter what it is, the ultimate loser in this charade is Myself...

So almost like a resolution taken in this month of June, I am not going to step into anyone. Would rather stay alone than searching for fakes in this sea full of fakes... I don't know whether any of what I said made any sense at all, well that is me, end of the day. Take it or leave it...

Don't you know!!!

You are gentler than breeze
You are younger than sea
But I don't want you to wait in the middle of my eyes and my tears!!!
Waiting with the sky as a shelter in your arms...

Don't you know?
I am just a silly pebble sitting silently
Not able to run along with this little stream of tears!!!
When you look through my eyes, You will know
That darkness is just a Black Sun;
And light is just a Golden night;
My time has missed its rhythm

Don't you know?
Your kiss is just a door to my heart!
It gets locked, When you knock it...
It opens, when you lock it...
That door might not be born too, or might crash and die, if you want!

Don't you know?
Death doesn't tell anyone how it tastes...
Birth doesn't tell anyone how it dies...
Likewise
Here I stand
Not knowing that you are not coming back!!!

Few minutes that still lives fresh within!!!

Fluttering alone!!!

I stand in this empty terrain, waiting to be flamed

You can burn me up very tenderly...

Don't need a torch or a volcano

A bit of water from the mirage river

With a gentle blade of grass is enough.

I am still alive and burning, in spite of the dawn,
Though the trunks of trees are uprooted in this tornado
I am still struggling not knowing how to die...
Fluttering and fighting, I am still alive.

May be my death can be brought with a drop of dew or rain,
Here I stand and beg and pray for that...
Clouds could feel my pain and might give me rain
But the droplets don't hear my voice and here I watch them go back.

Look at my cheeks been ripped off with the lightning thorns of your kiss,
With the explosion of your silence, here my heart is learning to beat,
The stars of my nights looks at your eyes for the last time
And rests in their grave with a last twinkle.

May be I should learn to eat my dreams and drink my tears
And just die unfolded...
Still have hopes that someone will light me up and put me off
Don't you think it is sad for a flame to expect who will do this to her!

In this sadness, my tresses of hair are burning in black flame
If it is going to be our night...
I want only you to teach me
How to gently end me and my night in your arms...

Answers

Don't ask me questions, I have always got answers...
In this canopy of words, where no questions survive
I live alone...
In this myriad, where no questions metamorphosis
I still live alone...
All around the leaves, tendrils, barks, trunks and roots
Lives the answers without questions.
All kinds of answers reside side by side

Answers that will satisfy you
Answers that will aggravate you
Answers that will identify you
Answers that will crush you
Answers that you expect
Answers that you don't expect
Answers with words
Answers without verses
Answers with meanings
Answers without heart
Answers with hope
Answers that will bury you hope

With these, My jungle is stuffed with answers
No one dares to put a foot into my forest
Even if they do, none go back empty handed
But none throws the seeds of questions to sprout around the answers.

kaleidoscope

The lovely days, I have spent with you
The times, I was mad with your thoughts
The dates, which we just spent laughing
The happy minutes, we enjoyed together
Letters, we shared with love
The poems, which dug deep into our souls
The nights, we spent talking
The warp, in which we both were lost
The days, we were drenched in our anger
The nights, we quenched it with our touches
Kisses, which just kept us alive
The gaps, in which we slept
The minutes, which we wanted to spent together
The seconds, we suffered for our separation
The hours, we waited to see again
Everything
Everything
Seems to have lost inside my aberrations today!!!
You and me were just mere images that keeps on churning
Will not be the same again.

My Letters!!!

Let me tell you something...
My words are terrified of sound
I will hand it to you, only when i finish cooking in a heart of paper...
Please forget what is in it, even before you open it!
I don't want to talk to you, when they are asleep...
When do I find time to write to you, for you, about you?

Well... The ones I start in the morning ends in the evening
And as I finish it, It becomes my sun!
The ones I start in the dusk gets over by dawn
And as I sign it, It turns into my dreams!
The ones I start in the summer drags into winter
And even as I start, My words opens up like mushrooms!

The ones I start in the autumn, keeps withering off
And here I stand like a barren tree!
The ones I start in the spring, keeps flying like a dust
Even as I start thinking of it!
The ones I start in the winter, keeps getting frozen
And just disappears in front of my eyes!

Then when and where and how?
Will you ever understand that I don't think of you now and then
My heart keeps scribbling about you with each breath
Coz... Your silence keeps screaming in my ears all the time.

My silence!!!

In this dusty silence,

Where you and I have forgotten to fall in

Our words are resting peacefully...

We know its hard to carry the meanings around

But we still do with heavy hearts...

Though the ripe words are silent and sitting back

The sprouting words keeps bouncing to and fro...

Just to give this suffocating heart a break

Here we try after a massive effort

To bring out a few verses from heart...

And watch it come out dazed, confused and stupid...

Well, what can I say?

Let's get back to how it was

Let my silence converse with yours...

Silent and Alone!!!

In this long and mysterious night
When all other beings have stopped even their heart beats
I can only hear the screaming of silence at its top pitch
Tell me again, what am I searching for in this?

In this frozen night, searching for a blanket
Am I looking for warmth to cover me?
Am I looking for the hands to hide me?
Am I looking for the soothing words to put some life back?
What is that I am searching for again?

I am so tired of searching for nothing
In the lonely places, just to hide my fears
Just to chase my void thoughts,
I keep shouting your name again and again.

Let me slice my lips off, just to make me forget about your kisses
It is hard to kill the soul that has been lost in your kisses.
I neither need your love nor your passion nor my patience
Tell me again, what am I searching for?

When the fights have finished,
When your killing accusations have rested,
When you want to kiss and make up,
Let my face without lips be there to greet you
Like a beautiful painting tainted to ugliness…

Will you ever realize that I have a soul that is searching for love?
My search may go in vain,
But my search will never seize…
Tell me again, what am I searching for?

My childhood!!!

My childhood was like a dream...

I had such a lovely time and remember every single laugh and tear we shared.

But all that is left in me is the fading memories with pain and distance

I know we have come a long way apart and each in separate paths...

Can't cross the distance between our hearts

Each stuck in a happy quick sand of their own which just pulls us more farther

Each remember the happy and good times and the words which have made us sad

All are walking with the scars that was left behind

Once we tried to laugh and cry and share and lean on

And now we have even tried to unleash our animals and rip others heart out

Here we all stand in sister and brotherhood shedding tears and blood

Each trying to conceal the pain we have inflicted on others and still smile

If only I had the guts, I would surely say how sorry I am

If only I had the power to change time, I will definitely go and change things

Coz... the loneliness that is left behind after our fights will continue till my grave

Would love to fill the gap inside me before I could rest in this earth

Till then, my people... I want to say I really miss you all and will love you all more than ever
If I have to be born again, please be with me and lets try and make that life more meaningful

I am so incomplete without you all...

Sorry...till then